“The idea that we could have avoided many of life’s difficulties if we had taken things more cautiously is too foolish to be entertained for a moment.”
– Dietrich Bonhoeffer (letter of January 23, 1944)
Forgiveness pays big dividends. Unforgiveness can cost you everything. The cost of forgiveness may seem too high when you’ve been hurt but the dividends will outlast your grand children.
Oil of Forgiveness
Mary anointed Jesus feet with expensive oil. Financial Advisors of her day thought she was crazy to make such a foolish investment with her life savings.
For Mary, this was a risky investment. Mary used her hair, her hands and the expensive oil (mixed with tears) to massage the feet of Jesus. She took a risk doing what she did – in public. She may have been quiet and discreet until the aroma filled the room and captured the attention of every guest at the party. I wonder if Mary’s gratitude left Jesus touched, moved, and inspired to pay it forward?
30 Silver Coins
Jesus washed the dirty feet of his closest friends as he prepared to die. The “money guy” (Judas) went out for a payoff. The big dividends never came for Judas or his investor friends. Buried in shame, Judas chose to put an end to his grieving process: “Judas, the one who betrayed him, realized that Jesus was doomed. Overcome with remorse, he gave back the thirty silver coins to the high priests, saying, “I’ve sinned. I’ve betrayed an innocent man.” They said, “What do we care? That’s your problem!” Judas threw the silver coins into the Temple and left. Then he went out and hung himself.” (Matthew 27:3-5 MSG)
Beer Allowance
There are other, less radical, ways to numb the pain of grief. My friend Lucy and I get together for coffee and face time throughout the year. Several years ago, Lucy was in a difficult marriage. In order to deal with her pain, she was spending lots of time – and money – in the bar. During our time together, she got a text message from a guy she met in the bar. He was asking for a date. She informed me that their marriage allowed for some things I might not understand.
The fact that she was spending $200 a day in a bar was really just a silly habit, Lucy told me. “I’m not that good at math”, I told her “but I’m adding this up in my head and here’s what it looks like to me…”
Your $200 daily habit is costing you $1000.00 a week (with two days each week to sleep it off), $4000.00 a month, and $48,000.00 a year if you live that long. That’s $480,000.00 over ten years assuming your silly habit turns into a manageable addiction.
The divorce came shortly after the money ran out.
The Cost of Forgiveness
Today, Lucy is remarried and raising three beautiful children. Lucy made lots of expensive mistakes, the valuable lessons were her big dividends. Lucy has gained a profound sense of gratitude that now infects every area of her life. It all started with forgiveness (and a lot of confession). Lucy discovered humility and then she stopped living for herself and started investing her life, energy, and money in something that would pay big dividends – way more than beer. Forgiveness gave Lucy another chance and now her life is filled with family, friendships, and freedom.
Forgiving Judas and Hitler
What if Judas would have waited a few days to ask Jesus to forgive him instead of losing hope and taking his own life? What if Hitler would have asked Dietrich Bonhoeffer for forgiveness and then set him free? Hitler might have been like that great Apostle (Paul) who stopped killing Christians and then called himself “Chief Sinner”.
Good Friday
Sunday is Easter. Tomorrow is Good Friday. Yesterday, I finished reading Eric Mytaxes’ biography of Bonhoeffer. Best book of the year. As the inevitable conclusion to Dietrich’s story came near, I kept hoping for a miracle. I wanted the story to have a happy ending. At the same time, I’ve been reading the Gospel of John with the same sense of mystery and hope – knowing how History repeats…
He is Risen!